Timothy Keller
Tim Keller passed into the presence of God yesterday. A friend texted me and I had not heard. I was not surprised with his many bouts with health in recent years, but instantly saddened at the void his absence will leave in the space . It was a full day, so I really didn’t think too much about it. I woke today and read a post from my cousin @scottiegoodness reflecting on an interaction when meeting him in which he told Keller, “You helped me through my darkest days”. When I read that, tears started streaming down my face. I hadn’t even stopped long enough to reflect. God used a man named Timothy Keller to help me through my darkest days.
Several years ago I went through a bout of depression, probably connected to some issues I was having with my thyroid, balled together with circumstance and crisis of faith. I am not sure which one came first. Flailing and disoriented, I was in a season desperate to hear from God. Tim Keller was someone I occasionally listened to, but was not listening to at the time. Keller was kind and compassionate in his sermons, but would not equivocate or waver in the truth. I needed both. One difficult day I searched on YouTube “Tim Keller Faith”. I listened to the first sermon that popped up. It was about Abraham and it blew my mind. There was a link on the youtube page you could click to get to the whole series. You had to pay for them. (I have never paid for a sermon ever, and never have since then.) I bought the series and binged the entire set in a few days, repeating several. The series was on Hebrews 11&12: The Nature of Faith. Hebrews 11&12 talks about the faith of Abraham, Moses, Abel, Noah, Joseph, Enoch…all the big names. A contemplative author named Saint Theresa of Avila, in The Interior Castle gave three metrics that characterize “divine locution”...God speaking. She says, 1. It comes in power and authority, 2. It comes with peaceful surrender, and 3. Longevity: it stands the test of time and scripture. That day as I binged on expositions of Hebrews 11&12 assembled by Tim Keller and the Holy Spirit, God spoke to me. Of the entire series three sentences were outstanding, came with immense life changing power and truth, brought supernatural peace, and have stood the test of scripture and time with their consistency and impact. These sentences have been etched on my heart and they are my weapon against faithlessness when it attacks.
Identifying my problem: The context was talking about why people abandon faith. He said, “People who walk away from their faith are people who feel instead of think, they are bludgeoned by their fear, and they are collared by their circumstances.” This was an apt description of me at that time. I was submerged in my own feelings and they were telling my what to believe. He said contrary to what the world tells you, “don’t listen to your heart, speak to your heart.” The waves were big and my feelings were wrong about the threat because it was dwelling on the dread of the waves. My own fear, ushered in with the support of my feelings, had been fashioned into a weapon the enemy had used to incessantly bludgeon me. And my circumstances choked me daily. This was my problem. And I could see it clearly.
The question of my heart: If someone could come up with THEE question…the one question of your heart you didn’t even know you had, Tim Keller did that for me. I had head phones on in the middle of my sermon binge and he asked, “How much faith is enough to be safe?”
I shot up and said out loud, “How Much!?” This was the questioned that kept fear alive in me my whole life and I didn’t even know it. TIme would help me put together the why for this question and it had to do with people of “deep faith” abandoning God in unimaginable ways. It planted seeds of doubt that formed a narrative that this can happen to anyone. I was one tragedy away, one unthinkable event away from leaving my faith and the fear was that in that moment, I would know I had been a fraud. Of course that was not true, but that was the threat. I felt weak of faith and didn’t know how to bridge the gap between my heart and mind.
How much? How much faith is enough?
“He said, “It is not about the strength of your faith, It is about the strength of the branch you are holding on to.” It was like the warm wind of the Spirit of God gently blew the fog off the water and I could see the sun and the sea and it was beautiful.. Fear had shrouded my ability to even see the goodness of God. And oh, is he good and His beauty is beyond compare. The branch I hold onto will never break, it is strong and unmoving. The strength of my faith doesn’t have earning power, just resting power.
The revelation did not stop there. Keller gave me evidence found in the case study of Abraham and the covenant that God made with Abraham in Genesis 15. Abraham questions God, essentially asking God how He will fulfill his promise to be a great nation when he remains childless. Basically, how do I know you're going to hold up your end of the deal? God arranges for a blood covenant to be made, an ancient custom of unbreakable agreement, in which an animal was torn in two and both parties would walk through the center sealing the agreement with their own lives as the collateral. And this is the crazy part, instead of God having Abraham walk through the center to seal the covenant, Genesis 15 says that God put Abraham into a deep sleep and manifested his presence passing through the center alone, sealing the covenant with Himself. God did this again when he made a covenant on our behalf with Jesus Christ to pay our ransom, and with deep relief and great joy my heart believed maybe for the first time what Hebrews 12:2 says, that God is the author and perfecter of my faith. Do you know what this means? God authors my faith, He perfected it in Jesus, and I slept while he did the work, I rested while he paid for my crimes, He thirsted, so I didn’t have to, I don’t have to strive, I don’t have to earn, I don’t have to fear God revoking his covenant because I cannot be good enough. He didn’t make the covenant with me, so he will not break it because of me. He made it with Jesus, and all I have to do is say yes and believe He is my strong branch.
So, thank you Timony Keller for running the race well, for being faithful to steward what God put inside of you. Thank you for packaging the life ring that pulled me out of the sea. You are in his fullness now. And if you read this now and you have never said yes to Jesus, you have never crawled under his wing or allowed yourself to be conformed by the cleft in the rock, if you have never gazed upon his beauty and goodness, if you are tired of fear, striving, wondering, just say Yes to the work he did for you. Chase the gifts to the giver. Chase the rays to the sun. Grab a hold of the branch…and just say, “Yes.”
May 20, 2023